My heart is heavy...
The reason being two things....
I talked to my mama today. Okay let me first introduce my mama to you...
My "Big Boss" mama is the eldest of the five siblings in my mothers family. He was the DIG of police in CRPF. A man revered by the entire family, for his discipline, orderliness and bravery. A loving father and husband that gave his family what they need at all times. A person loved by me for telling me stories about operation blue star, the veerappan hunt and many more. He always took me on rides in his TVX Max - R 100. He was the first person to take me on a proper Motorbike. I used to touch his balding head to feel the little sharp brushes of hair rub through my palm and give me a tickle. After his morning bath, I used to pat his tummy under his banyan to see huge puffs of gokul sandal talc powder fly. Whenever I did a mistake the police in him would come up and say "sorry sollu", which would be enough even for the adamant me to say a meek sorry. My mama ...o..my mama...
Today hes down with Parkinsons Disease (PD). I dont see the police man in him. I dont see the person that used to take a 10 year old on fast rides on his bike. ....All I see is a man aging with grace and taking the blows of PD with bravery....... The mama girl in me had a big blow today when I talked to him after a long time. I could barely understand him talk. I heard the mumbles that started with words and ended up as gargles of an one year old... I heard him weep talking to his niece sitting far away from him in a distant land.....The falls of PD have left a crack in his skull and bone broken in his arm.......the question of "epdi mama irukel" got an answer of "epo ni varuve...une parkenum"... I could sense the insecurity creeping through him and through me ofcourse....PD is cruelty to the human race.......I don't want to see my broken mama...I want to see my big boss DIG mama that used to be my big santa.......
God please give people with PD and their loved ones the strength to go through what they have to.....
Now the other reason...I saw my friends marriage pictures...ofcourse she was gorgeous and so was her prince...I am very happy for them.......Missing a friends marriage with whom you have spent almost most of the time in four years...laughing, fooling around, bunking classes, crying, being there when theres a need, shairng the food and fun is difficult......sometimes it makes me think is being so far away really worth all this......
I am confused and my heart is heavy....
