My heart is heavy...
The reason being two things....
I talked to my mama today. Okay let me first introduce my mama to you...
My "Big Boss" mama is the eldest of the five siblings in my mothers family. He was the DIG of police in CRPF. A man revered by the entire family, for his discipline, orderliness and bravery. A loving father and husband that gave his family what they need at all times. A person loved by me for telling me stories about operation blue star, the veerappan hunt and many more. He always took me on rides in his TVX Max - R 100. He was the first person to take me on a proper Motorbike. I used to touch his balding head to feel the little sharp brushes of hair rub through my palm and give me a tickle. After his morning bath, I used to pat his tummy under his banyan to see huge puffs of gokul sandal talc powder fly. Whenever I did a mistake the police in him would come up and say "sorry sollu", which would be enough even for the adamant me to say a meek sorry. My mama ...o..my mama...
Today hes down with Parkinsons Disease (PD). I dont see the police man in him. I dont see the person that used to take a 10 year old on fast rides on his bike. ....All I see is a man aging with grace and taking the blows of PD with bravery....... The mama girl in me had a big blow today when I talked to him after a long time. I could barely understand him talk. I heard the mumbles that started with words and ended up as gargles of an one year old... I heard him weep talking to his niece sitting far away from him in a distant land.....The falls of PD have left a crack in his skull and bone broken in his arm.......the question of "epdi mama irukel" got an answer of "epo ni varuve...une parkenum"... I could sense the insecurity creeping through him and through me ofcourse....PD is cruelty to the human race.......I don't want to see my broken mama...I want to see my big boss DIG mama that used to be my big santa.......
God please give people with PD and their loved ones the strength to go through what they have to.....
Now the other reason...I saw my friends marriage pictures...ofcourse she was gorgeous and so was her prince...I am very happy for them.......Missing a friends marriage with whom you have spent almost most of the time in four years...laughing, fooling around, bunking classes, crying, being there when theres a need, shairng the food and fun is difficult......sometimes it makes me think is being so far away really worth all this......
I am confused and my heart is heavy....
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
The concept of GOD!!
Does the title make you think am an atheist ?????
Nawww... Just read on...
The other day my Chinese friend and I were having a chat that had innumerable "not-so-important" things that were scrutinized and a very interesting topic was stumbled upon.
She did not have any religion. Rephrasing it, she does not understand the concept of GOD.
I was very surprised and that eventually led to the question of "don't you pray at all? don't you get blessings from elders? ". The answer was a NO.
If someone talked to you about how an algae in the sea bed of the pacific ocean, or some weird chemical composition of rocks that lie dormant on the surface of moon will you understand it ? ...she asked me. I said well logically speaking, being what I am (as I tell people peria padippu padichuiruken ), I will try to understand it, but am not sure how far I can really appreciate it or why its being told to me. Thats when she got me right on the point. She said thats exactly how she felt about GOD. She tries to understand the concept of GOD, but since she has not grown up knowing him (GOD), she does not have that concept in her mind and cannot really appreciate him.
Biologically, her mind does not sense GOD, because it doesn't know of such a "thing". Me being me, by this time had innumerable number of "what ?" questions whirling in my mind. So I asked her, what will you do when you have a problem? Pat came the reply, think about how to solve it, talk to friends, get help and eventually solve it. Number two was, What will you do if someone you love is sick? wouldn't you pray?.... Sick? Sick? well in that case I will take them to the doctor and be by their side. That will make me and them happy. Now I was very confused, because I do everything she tells and still I need GOD with me. Now it struck me ...the million dollar question ...... How will you marry? Will you not go to some place of worship? Won't you have some ceremony? ....Marriages are different for us. We gather at restaurants along with our parents, friends and relatives, then the master of the ceremony tells that the bride and groom are wed and they tell us the story of how they met and how they decided to get married. We make fun of them, laugh and make merry. Thats how we marry.... I was flabbergasted by this I should say.
My friend continued.... may be this is because of the communist rule China has been in. I was born with no concept of GOD around me. We live up to our conscience. We respect people for their age and follow rules. We try not to harm nature, anyone or anything and we try to be friendly and loving. We don't have any functions or festivals other than the Chinese new year, the national day and the communist day. Thats how we have been and I don't think we are missing on anything. Saying these words she smiled at me. I too felt exactly the same thing. I don't think she is missing anything that most of my god fearing friends or I have. In fact her country is one that is setting landmarks for its growth and prosperity that generations of other countries did not.
This incident did throw light on an entirely new dimension. She was not an atheist, who said GOD does not exist. She was not a theist either, but she was one who did not know GOD. She is my friend.
P.S: - Wanted to add a comment that my patti always had about atheist. "Nathigan than swami pathi nareya yosipan namme yosikarthe vide...Namme swami namaskaram panitu karyathuku poiduvom...avaluku karyema swami pathi pesarthu than.....". Wish she was here to say a few words about this third new dimension......
Nawww... Just read on...
The other day my Chinese friend and I were having a chat that had innumerable "not-so-important" things that were scrutinized and a very interesting topic was stumbled upon.
She did not have any religion. Rephrasing it, she does not understand the concept of GOD.
I was very surprised and that eventually led to the question of "don't you pray at all? don't you get blessings from elders? ". The answer was a NO.
If someone talked to you about how an algae in the sea bed of the pacific ocean, or some weird chemical composition of rocks that lie dormant on the surface of moon will you understand it ? ...she asked me. I said well logically speaking, being what I am (as I tell people peria padippu padichuiruken ), I will try to understand it, but am not sure how far I can really appreciate it or why its being told to me. Thats when she got me right on the point. She said thats exactly how she felt about GOD. She tries to understand the concept of GOD, but since she has not grown up knowing him (GOD), she does not have that concept in her mind and cannot really appreciate him.
Biologically, her mind does not sense GOD, because it doesn't know of such a "thing". Me being me, by this time had innumerable number of "what ?" questions whirling in my mind. So I asked her, what will you do when you have a problem? Pat came the reply, think about how to solve it, talk to friends, get help and eventually solve it. Number two was, What will you do if someone you love is sick? wouldn't you pray?.... Sick? Sick? well in that case I will take them to the doctor and be by their side. That will make me and them happy. Now I was very confused, because I do everything she tells and still I need GOD with me. Now it struck me ...the million dollar question ...... How will you marry? Will you not go to some place of worship? Won't you have some ceremony? ....Marriages are different for us. We gather at restaurants along with our parents, friends and relatives, then the master of the ceremony tells that the bride and groom are wed and they tell us the story of how they met and how they decided to get married. We make fun of them, laugh and make merry. Thats how we marry.... I was flabbergasted by this I should say.
My friend continued.... may be this is because of the communist rule China has been in. I was born with no concept of GOD around me. We live up to our conscience. We respect people for their age and follow rules. We try not to harm nature, anyone or anything and we try to be friendly and loving. We don't have any functions or festivals other than the Chinese new year, the national day and the communist day. Thats how we have been and I don't think we are missing on anything. Saying these words she smiled at me. I too felt exactly the same thing. I don't think she is missing anything that most of my god fearing friends or I have. In fact her country is one that is setting landmarks for its growth and prosperity that generations of other countries did not.
This incident did throw light on an entirely new dimension. She was not an atheist, who said GOD does not exist. She was not a theist either, but she was one who did not know GOD. She is my friend.
P.S: - Wanted to add a comment that my patti always had about atheist. "Nathigan than swami pathi nareya yosipan namme yosikarthe vide...Namme swami namaskaram panitu karyathuku poiduvom...avaluku karyema swami pathi pesarthu than.....". Wish she was here to say a few words about this third new dimension......
Friday, June 20, 2008
I am an Indian. But I speak Tamil
*** NOTE ****
This is just not a post...But an eye opener (for people like me) living in Berica and others living "abroad" ......
Thus begins my soga kathai....
Dasavatharam release.....
I was excited...not about Kamal ..(I wana be heard loud....) but about seeing a tamil movie in the theater.....
I like flocks of people...rather I hate watching/doing things in thin groups.....
So I talk to my akka and athimber on the day before the release.....my akka is all greens and not just her but her friends also........
So we end up gathering a strength of 8 people and decide to go to Dasa on friday night.....
So I being the so called chinne ponnu of the group was assigned/volunteered to get the tickets....
As am in Berica I go online and book the tickets for Dasa......get me I booked tickets for $104...
So friday comes...I get bad reviews for Dasa but with undented spirits I join my sis's family to go the movie....
there we go and get the tickets using the online receipt and go to the movie...my sis's friends were late...so my athimber said we (him me and my nephew) would go and "put seats"...
so we give the rest of the tickets to my sis and we go and stand in a "line" no u dint read it wrong...it was really a line to enter the theatre...
that is when the bulb burns "blonk blonk"...athimber asks...."ene Harini elarum gulte le pesarale...ene panine"...
the color drains from my face..."athimber nan online le pakarche Dasavatharam than potu irunthuthu language ethuvum podele.."
athims: "Ene ma???#$%^&* "
"athimber irungo nan poi manager kite ene language kekeren..."
seri nu I run to the manager of the theatre...
"Hi there..could you tell me what language this movie is in...."
she stumbles a bit.....its an Indian movie...
"I know its Indian...but what language is it in????????????"
she fumbles--stumbles---then chews the word out..." ttee-le-ggu..."
pochuda.....nan ssathanu ninaichen........
I run to my sis scared to face my athimber....akka ipdi gulte version ka ithu.......
my nephew and sis laugh like hell...
I stand there looking for a place to hide me/my embarrassment
Then my athimber comes...."chonen olyo ---gulte mathri irukunu....."
I went and hid behind my sis.....
No wait the big story is yet to come...
This is when all the friends arrive....
I felt very very bad about making them drive 40 mins to realise that I booked it for the gulte version....
But they were all sporty enough to laugh...they sat down and laughed and laughed abt the comedy of errors......then I went to my athimber and he said..."kavale padathe...epdi irunthalum enaku Kamal padam pidikathu...unakage than vanthen.."
This lifted my spirits.....
So my athimber and his friend went home to watch American Gangster..my nephew Hareesh and his friend Pawan went to the movie Hulk in the same theater...and me and my sis and her friends went to Sex and the city...I think that was the biggest of all mistakes....since I was "Chinne ponnu" and was sitting with my sis I was asked to sleep if possible...so 45 minutes of no story line just trash movie I slept....
Then I woke up when the curtains were drawn and came home to end an interesting day...that was really interesting with a turn of events in its own style...
The next day I face my athimber and he says."...Kavele padathe nan une azhachindu poren Dasavatharam....."
So moral of this kathai:- Never book a ticket online for any Indian movie without checking its language...because though "I am Indian, I speak Tamil" ........
This is just not a post...But an eye opener (for people like me) living in Berica and others living "abroad" ......
Thus begins my soga kathai....
Dasavatharam release.....
I was excited...not about Kamal ..(I wana be heard loud....) but about seeing a tamil movie in the theater.....
I like flocks of people...rather I hate watching/doing things in thin groups.....
So I talk to my akka and athimber on the day before the release.....my akka is all greens and not just her but her friends also........
So we end up gathering a strength of 8 people and decide to go to Dasa on friday night.....
So I being the so called chinne ponnu of the group was assigned/volunteered to get the tickets....
As am in Berica I go online and book the tickets for Dasa......get me I booked tickets for $104...
So friday comes...I get bad reviews for Dasa but with undented spirits I join my sis's family to go the movie....
there we go and get the tickets using the online receipt and go to the movie...my sis's friends were late...so my athimber said we (him me and my nephew) would go and "put seats"...
so we give the rest of the tickets to my sis and we go and stand in a "line" no u dint read it wrong...it was really a line to enter the theatre...
that is when the bulb burns "blonk blonk"...athimber asks...."ene Harini elarum gulte le pesarale...ene panine"...
the color drains from my face..."athimber nan online le pakarche Dasavatharam than potu irunthuthu language ethuvum podele.."
athims: "Ene ma???#$%^&* "
"athimber irungo nan poi manager kite ene language kekeren..."
seri nu I run to the manager of the theatre...
"Hi there..could you tell me what language this movie is in...."
she stumbles a bit.....its an Indian movie...
"I know its Indian...but what language is it in????????????"
she fumbles--stumbles---then chews the word out..." ttee-le-ggu..."
pochuda.....nan ssathanu ninaichen........
I run to my sis scared to face my athimber....akka ipdi gulte version ka ithu.......
my nephew and sis laugh like hell...
I stand there looking for a place to hide me/my embarrassment
Then my athimber comes...."chonen olyo ---gulte mathri irukunu....."
I went and hid behind my sis.....
No wait the big story is yet to come...
This is when all the friends arrive....
I felt very very bad about making them drive 40 mins to realise that I booked it for the gulte version....
But they were all sporty enough to laugh...they sat down and laughed and laughed abt the comedy of errors......then I went to my athimber and he said..."kavale padathe...epdi irunthalum enaku Kamal padam pidikathu...unakage than vanthen.."
This lifted my spirits.....
So my athimber and his friend went home to watch American Gangster..my nephew Hareesh and his friend Pawan went to the movie Hulk in the same theater...and me and my sis and her friends went to Sex and the city...I think that was the biggest of all mistakes....since I was "Chinne ponnu" and was sitting with my sis I was asked to sleep if possible...so 45 minutes of no story line just trash movie I slept....
Then I woke up when the curtains were drawn and came home to end an interesting day...that was really interesting with a turn of events in its own style...
The next day I face my athimber and he says."...Kavele padathe nan une azhachindu poren Dasavatharam....."
So moral of this kathai:- Never book a ticket online for any Indian movie without checking its language...because though "I am Indian, I speak Tamil" ........
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Agony!!!
Where are we headed ????
One half of this globe claims to have almost found a check for AIDS, while the other is still dying because of saying yes to a vaccine.....................................
Yes...this happened in my country....it happened today...yes in the 21st century.......
http://www.hindu.com/2008/04/24/stories/2008042457410100.htm
http://www.hindu.com/2008/04/24/stories/2008042459220500.htm
Where is my country going???
Will the people responsible be brought to justice? Will the Pharmaceutical firm be sued? Will the minister of the health sector take the responsibility? Will the nurses and doctors be punished?
Even if the answer to all these questions are yes
Will all this compensate for the loss of these infants?????
One half of this globe claims to have almost found a check for AIDS, while the other is still dying because of saying yes to a vaccine.....................................
Yes...this happened in my country....it happened today...yes in the 21st century.......
http://www.hindu.com/2008/04/24/stories/2008042457410100.htm
http://www.hindu.com/2008/04/24/stories/2008042459220500.htm
Where is my country going???
Will the people responsible be brought to justice? Will the Pharmaceutical firm be sued? Will the minister of the health sector take the responsibility? Will the nurses and doctors be punished?
Even if the answer to all these questions are yes
Will all this compensate for the loss of these infants?????
Sunday, March 23, 2008
जोधा अकबर !!
A Love story that stole my heart........................
For a person like me with a lot of conservative views when it comes to issues my country is sensitive to (I hope you know what I mean ;) ) Jodha and Akbar's love story is something to learn and take the cue form...... Leaving alone all the controversies that engulfed the movie..it was a very well taken one, with its message clearly reaching its viewers.....
Akbar a Mughalian king ties the knot with Jodha a Jaipuri princess.....Hes a muslim and shes a hindu.....This sentence would cause unimaginable tension if it had happened even today in families in my country..... Interestingly and surprisingly it was accepted and celebrated then..... The best part of their love story was the respect that Akbar showed for Jodha' believes, way of life and religion taking into fact that he could have always forced her to follow his ways since she was married to him. Also appreciable is the grit and confidence displayed by Jodha bhai in sticking to what she was brought up with and her believes.......
Love is all about respecting the other person's believes, feelings and wishes ain't it.....
Maybe we should call both "Akbar and Jodha" "The Great"
On the whole a "SHOULD" watch for everyone and a "DEFINITELY" watch for all youngsters who must also take the cue of how one should celebrate the differences with their partners.....
For a person like me with a lot of conservative views when it comes to issues my country is sensitive to (I hope you know what I mean ;) ) Jodha and Akbar's love story is something to learn and take the cue form...... Leaving alone all the controversies that engulfed the movie..it was a very well taken one, with its message clearly reaching its viewers.....
Akbar a Mughalian king ties the knot with Jodha a Jaipuri princess.....Hes a muslim and shes a hindu.....This sentence would cause unimaginable tension if it had happened even today in families in my country..... Interestingly and surprisingly it was accepted and celebrated then..... The best part of their love story was the respect that Akbar showed for Jodha' believes, way of life and religion taking into fact that he could have always forced her to follow his ways since she was married to him. Also appreciable is the grit and confidence displayed by Jodha bhai in sticking to what she was brought up with and her believes.......
Love is all about respecting the other person's believes, feelings and wishes ain't it.....
Maybe we should call both "Akbar and Jodha" "The Great"
On the whole a "SHOULD" watch for everyone and a "DEFINITELY" watch for all youngsters who must also take the cue of how one should celebrate the differences with their partners.....
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